Single: But Not Alone
By Andrea Lake | January 13, 2012
I’m sure we’ve all heard the poplar single coined by Beyonce “Single Ladies: Put a ring on it”, which became an anthem for a lot of single women. Don’t get me wrong, I walked around briefly doing the hand gesture too, however I soon realized I had it all wrong. I’m 29 years old and I’m SINGLE, however I’m not alone. It’s so common to hear people say that their waiting on their mate, for the ladies I often hear I’m waiting on my “Boaz”.
That‘s all good, however what are you doing while you wait? If we understand the story of Ruth and Boaz, Ruth was a woman who was willing to submit to the will of God for her life, which meant leaving a place she was familiar with and follow her mother in law to a place, she was foreign too. While gleaning in the fields, she caught the eye of Boaz, who then asked someone else about her. Glean means to gather slowly or laboriously. It also means to learn, discover, or find out more little by little.
When waiting for a mate, we have to be working; maturing our walk with Christ, being prayerful, slowly gathering the necessary tools we need to be successful in courting and marriage. If we can’t be faithful to God, how can we expect to be faithful in our relationship?
As a single woman watching my peers enter into holy matrimony, I’ve often wondered will I too enter into the same covenant. But I’ve come to realize over the years that everything happens in God’s timing, and there is no time with him. I’ve experienced the heartache of a failed relationship, but I now realize that God has something better for me. We must be constantly seeking God’s perfect will for our lives and not his permissive will. It’s also not his will for us to co-habitat before marriage. This basically means “I’ll consider taking all of you but not right now”. Many individuals want the benefits of marriage without committing, which is a disaster waiting to happen. This is only a mask to what God intended to be true and authentic; marriage. As godly men and women of God we have to raise the standard of holiness, protect our hearts and guard our minds.
Is it more important that you are with someone or that you are with the “right” someone who God has purposed for you (Prov. 19:21)?
Ask yourself these questions:
- Could God have allowed this man or woman to be in your life solely for the purpose of knowing how to maintain a male/female friendship, so that you would be prepared for your future husband or wife one day?
- Is it possible that this man or woman is not God’s best for you, even though you are attracted to him or her and they have qualities that you think are perfectly suited for you?
- Or is it possible that this man or woman is God’s best for you, but God still has more work to do in his life before he or she is ready to pursue you?
I think it all comes down to trust (Prov. 3:5-6). Do you trust God or do you trust what you can see in your current life circumstances? Whether we have someone interesting in our lives or not, it’s easy to get frustrated with “timing” and want to take matters into our own hands. I would prayerfully consider what God wants you to do in this matter. Then ask him to conform the desires of your heart into his desires for your life (Psa. 37:4).